Power Tool: the power of "yet"

A short note about this easy tool you can start practising immediately.

Can you think of something you want to start doing, but you just don't? You don't try, or you procrastinate, using the sentence "I am not good at ....". Maybe it is cooking, exercising, playing sports, practising a new language, applying for a job or a promotion, maybe it is reading or driving or starting a new hobby or a business.

There are times in our lives that we hit stop, pause or slow motion, using from ridiculous to fabulous excuses (we don't call them excuses, though - they are great elaborate stories).

There are also loads of unpacking we could do about what is going on inside our brains while the "I am not doing what I want to do" happens (vulnerability, impostor syndrome, fear, anxiety about changes, social exposure, expectations...) but I just want to keep this short and practical, so moving on to the tool.

Tool: add the word "yet" to your sentence and see if your eyebrows-jaw-face softens and you feel any different. Example:

I am not good at cooking versus I am not good at cooking yet

I am not good at reading versus I am not good at reading yet

I am not good at presentations versus I am not good at presentations yet

Helping children with this tool seems logical, but as we grow older, we get harder on ourselves, worry about failure too much and expect to succeed with no effort too much, forgetting to consider the learning and adaptative stage of mastering a new skill.

The power of adding "yet" in the sentence gives you room to welcome the learning step, accept that action and practice are required in order to master a skill. It also takes you out of the negative frame of mind of feeling sorry for yourself and indulging in more and more elaborate excuses to kill your goals and dreams.

So, what now? Complete the sentences and go improve about it.

I want to start _______ (driving, reading, dancing)

I am not good at _______ YET

To improve at ______ I will commit to ______, doing this every day, starting today!

Note: Actually, stand or move and DO something different about it. The just thinking about a plan and not taking action takes you nowhere.

Note: Avoid going down the rabbit hole of the excuses, creating more excuses and feeling bad for yourself. The thing is, we are wired to protect ourselves from disappointment, so when we say we are not good enough, we feel judged, and we promptly start to justify and create scenarios to explain why we are not good enough or why we have not done much progress (yet!). But keep it clean, this is a simple tool to move forward.

All the best, Daniela